Just Some Modern Newsies Headcanons
by ihaveajuicebox
Summary: I take requests. Enjoy this beautiful compilation of our favorite people as modern day morons
1. Game Night

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Have Game Night**

So Albert and Race are in an intense game of Candyland

Romeo and Elmer are playing too, but they sit there awkwardly

Albert and Race are very good at trash talking

Especially in Italian

Jack covers Crutchie's ears when Race throws out the word '_puttana_'

Crutchie is confused

Jack is determined to protect his innocence

Katherine, Davey, and Les are in an intense game of Scrabble

They are all freakishly good

Like freakishly

They all use words no one else has heard of

Katherine wins

Les pouts

Davey's face turns red

Neither of the siblings like to lose

They're good sports

Katherine makes them fan her with newspapers

She is their queen

Jojo, Henry, and Buttons are playing Uno

Big mistake

They keep using reverse cards

Jojo teared up when Henry pulled out a +4 on him

It was not pretty

Friendships were put on hold

Things were said

This time, not in another language

Crutchie heard and understood

Crutchie is still in disbelief at Button's foul mouth

He almost got a bar of soap out

Smalls, Finch, Tommy Boy, Specs, and Mush are sitting in the corner

The Game of Life sits in front of them

Finch has like thirty-seven kids

No one knows how

Mush is in debt

He keeps cursing his decision to go to college

Smalls is actually doing good

He has a wife, a house, two kids, and a decent job

They are all surprised at this

Smalls is the most surprised of all

He accepts it though

Tommy Boy has some money

He's a cop

He laughed when he drew that card

For some reason he's the closest to death

Yet he doesn't have any kids

Specs is distraught

He landed on the tornado square eleven times

He's had to restart **eleven** times

Specs has graduated college eleven times

He doesn't know whether to proud or distressed about that

The Newsies all end the night with one big game of Cards Against Humanity

Big mistake

They have an award show after

That's how extra they are

Romeo wins 'Most Inappropriate'

Race wins 'Most Random'

Crutchie gets a participation award and doesn't stop smiling for two hours

Finch won 'Most Confusing'

Katherine won 'Wordiest'

Albert wins 'Saltiest Mouth'

Elmer wins 'Most Likely to be a Nun'

Les joins Crutchie with a participation award. He pouts though

Davey won 'Stupidest Person'

He looks exasperated but not confused

Davey knows what goes on in their heads

He wished he didn't

Specs won 'Blind as a Bat'

Specs couldn't read the words on the card

Mush didn't win anything

He slept through most of the game

Smalls won 'Most Nostalgic'

All of his cards were references to the earlier times

Tommy Boy almost started crying when he thought about those simpler times

Tommy Boy got the 'Most Emotional' award

That one was obvious

Jack won 'Power Hungry Dictator'

He got a little controlling during the rounds

Crutchie was low key scared

Henry got 'Most Optimistic'

He smiled and made a cheerful comment

Albert groaned

Albert is a pessimist

Jojo won 'Cynical Cyclone'

His cards were depressing

Buttons

Dear God Buttons

Buttons needs a therapist

"A romantic dinner wouldn't be complete without some self loathing!"

Elmer just patted him awkwardly on the back as he cackled

Buttons thought he was hilarious

The others were seriously concerned

yEe YeE! first chapter is done. go ahead and give me suggestions. i'll most likely do them. i'm bored and school work is not an option. yEe YeE!


	2. Wegmans

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Go To Wegmans™ **

(this was co-written by OtterSandwich)

So Katherine needs some Gatorade to fuel her all-nighters

The boys don't let her have red bull anymore

Jack wants to come too

That means the rest of the newsies tag along

They never leave Jack

It's sweet

They all pile in two cars

Finch is laying on top of Albert, Elmer, and Race

He's still talking about his thirty-seven kids

Finch gave them names

They all rhyme with Harry

Finch makes the family name Potter

Finch thinks he's funny

No one else does

The newsies immediately split up

Romeo heads to the marshmallow aisle

He knows that's where the sad girls go

Romeo flirts with every attractive person that comes into the marshmallow aisle

He gets a date

His jaw drops

That's never worked before

His ego is inflated for the rest of his life

Elmer is pushing Crutchie around in a cart

Race and Albert are trying to beat them

They don't look where they're going

Albert pushes Race right over some poor teenage girl

She just lays there

Albert goes over to help her up

He freezes when he sees that she's pretty

Albert doesn't do well around pretty girls

Race starts crying with laughter

Crutchie looks at Albert sympathetically

Elmer chased after the girl to apologize

He got a date

Albert almost punched him

But he didn't

Somehow Finch got stuck on the train

Specs bet him a hundred dollars that he couldn't

He could

But now Finch can't get down

He's close to tears

Finch yells to Specs his will

He gives everything to his imaginary thirty-seven children

Specs rolls his eyes and leaves

Finch is scared

Henry, Buttons, and Jojo are doing parkour in the toilet paper section

They're not good at it

Thankfully, the toilet paper is soft

They get some glares from a middle aged woman

They ignore her

Jojo can't see straight

He hit his head on a pole

That didn't stop him from jumping around some more

Mush and Tommy Boy are in the cafe

They've been sitting there the entire time

They don't talk to each other though

They just slurp

The loudest slurp makes you the alpha

They both want to be the alpha slurper

It is very loud in the cafe

They start burping too

Soon it becomes alpha burper

Smalls made a beeline for the bathroom

He's been in there the entire time

It doesn't smell good

Another man went in for half a second

He came out coughing

Smalls doesn't feel good

It's better to do it in public though

They'll know who it is if you do it at home

Smalls has a smug look on his face

Jack keeps trying to sneak candy in the cart

Katherine catches him every time

She's exasperated

All she wanted was a forty-eight pack of gatorade

Now she has to round up fourteen teenage boys

She didn't sign up for this

Katherine would leave, but she didn't drive

Elmer and Specs have the car keys

She doesn't know where they are

This trip was a disaster

Katherine should've just gone to Walmart

She's just grateful they didn't go to Costco

The boys would've been lost to the free samples

She smack Jack's hand away again

Jack doesn't even like smarties

yEe YeE! second chapter is done! thanks ottersandwich for helping me. remember, i accept any requests and i appreciate evrything you guys do for me. yEe YeE!


	3. Karaoke

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Do Karaoke**

**(look up the songs i reference if you don't know them)**

It all started when Smalls found a karaoke machine at Goodwill

Being Smalls, he bought it

The other newsies look at him confusedly

He winks at Finch while he plugs in his iPod

Finch gulps

Smalls has heard Finch's shower soprano show

Finch can sing decently

But he's embarrassed

The other guys can be quite teasing

Crutchie has a little smirk on

He limps up to the front

He whispers his song choice in Smalls' ear

Smalls burst out into laughter

The other newsies look at the innocent boy, waiting

"_ABC_" by the Jackson 5 begins to play

Jack looks on in horror

Crutchie is laughing so hard, that he can't sing

When he finally does, it's this awful high pitched voice

Everyone is cringing

Crutchie is just soaking it up

When the song is over, he cackles

And cackles

And cackles

The others are seriously worried

The others know that they will all have to sing

Henry goes up next

He just wants it over with

His face is red as he presses play

"_Happy_" by Pharrell starts

Albert lets out a loud groan

The song fits Henry's optimism

Albert hates it

Henry exaggerates some dance moves

He even snaps along

Not a single newsie wasn't laughing by the end

And Henry had a huge smile on his face

Race grins and saunters up

He takes his position as the song starts

Albert knows what's coming

It was too late to warn the others

Race's awful Elvis impression rang through the room

"You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time!"

Davey covers his ears and grimaces

Mush thinks he's gone temporarily deaf

Specs is almost unconscious

Race bows and high fives Albert

Romeo takes the stage

"_L-O-V-E_" by Al Green starts playing

The other newsies roll their eyes

Leave it to Romeo

"L is for the way you look at me! O is for the only one I see!"

His flirtatious manner is even present at karaoke night

They're disappointed

But his voice fits the song surprisingly well

Buttons waddles up

"Hit it Smalls!" he pointed to the other boy

The other newsies looked on in exasperation

"_Rock Lobster_" started

Jojo facepalmed at his friend's utter stupidity

It was so corny, and cheesy, and so utterly Buttons

Davey wanted this over with

He didn't want his turn to be hanging over his head

He took a deep breath and began to sing

"We all live in a yellow submarine. A yellow submarine. A yellow submarine"

All of the newsies know the words

Soon, they're shouting along with him

Mush pushes him out of the way

He announces that he has chosen the best song of all time

Smalls starts snickering when he is told

Mush jumps up, scaring Les

"Shake, shake shake! Shake, shake, shake! Shake your booty! Shake your booty!"

The newsies gasped

They had forgotten about that song

After Mush settles down, Albert took a shaky breath and went up

"_I am a Lonesome Hobo_" started

The other newsies looked on in horror

Not that Albert was awful

He was actually good

But the lyrics were horrifying, for they had all gone through something like that

"I am a lonesome hobo

Without family or friends

Where another man's life might begin

That's exactly where mine ends

I have tried my hand at bribery

Blackmail and deceit

And I've served time for everything

'Cept beggin' on the street"

Race shook his head and muttered something about killing the mood

Finch pushed the depressing person we call Albert out of the way

"A one, two, a one, two three!"

"_I Know You Want Me_" by Pitbull started

Finch's awful Spanish made the other newsies laugh again

Race and Albert cringed

Italian was like Spanish, so they knew what he was trying to say

The key word being trying

He was failing

Les volunteered to go next

"_Tik Tok_" by Kesha started

Davey's jaw dropped

Jack started clapping

Les actually knew the words

They had to hold Davey back as he tried to take the microphone away

It was amazing

Romeo was crying with laughter

Davey rushed up and picked up his brother as soon as it was over

He scolded him

Elmer awkwardly walked up

"_Sweet Home Alabama_" by Lynyrd Skynyrd turned on

Elmer had an awful country accent

He held his mouth to one side the entire time

He kept stopping to laugh

Elmer was making a fool out of himself

But he didn't care

Cause he was with his friends

Specs adjusted his glasses

He starts singing "_Beverly Hills_" by Weezer

The others are shocked

This is not the Specs they know

This song is flashy, loud, and boisterous

Specs is not that

They're in awe

He's shaking his head around

His glasses flew off

No one saw where they landed

That's going to be a problem later

Jojo can feel the pressure

He doesn't want to be last

So he clears his throat and stands up

His face is red

His palms are sweaty

But yet, he must participate

That is the rule

'If anyone does a stupid thing, we must all do a stupid thing'

They all signed a document that said that

He was pretty sure Davey was going to be a lawyer

He burped quietly before his started

"_Fat Bottomed Girls_" by Queen

He's even laughing at himself

The song is so ridiculous

Mush was rolling around on the ground with laughter

Queen had made the best song of all time

It made everyone cry tears of joy

Tommy Boy made a three fingered hand symbol

Only some of the newsies understood

He walked up to the front

"_Girlfriend_" by Avril Lavigne started

Tommy Boy made his voice all squeaky to imitate her

He pointed to Romeo when the singer is supposed to argue

Romeo feigned anger

It was comical

Romeo is an awful actor

Just two hadn't gone yet

Jack and Smalls

Smalls was the DJ

That meant Jack was up

Smalls would go last

Jack confidently strolled up to the front

He stuck his tongue out and waggled it

He signaled Smalls to press play

"_Carrot Juice is Murder_" by The Arrogant Worms

Jack sung about how he needed to save the broccoli and cauliflower

It was an all around comical song

That's why he chose it

Cause he's Jack Kelly

The others look up to him for a reason

Jack finally wrestled the iPod out of Smalls' hands

Smalls sighed and made his way up to the front

The newsies were getting restless and impatient

They'd been sitting for quite a while

"_Peaches_" by the Presidents of The USA began

Smalls put the microphone back in the holder

He needed his arms for this

He began to gesticulate wildly

His arms flew around

The others were worried he was going to knock something over

He did

He knocked over the microphone

There was a loud squeal of feedback

Everyone covered their ears

That was the end of karaoke night

yEe YeE! that was twice as long cause i did research. i literally get my ideas by looking up 'group date ideas'. i hope some of you caught my hunger games reference. remember, i take requests. all of these songs are amazing, and i suggest you listen to them, i chose them for a reason. yEe YeE!


	4. The Fair

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Go To the Fair**

**(co-written by OtterSandwich)**

So the fair comes to Manhattan

It's a big deal

Les and Romeo beg for hours

It didn't actually take that much convincing

Race just liked seeing them beg

Jack immediately grabs Katherine

They get on the ferris wheel

Jack's inner romantic is showing

Katherine loves it

Crutchie's leg is not helpful

He can't ride on a lot of the rides

HOWEVER

He can ride the merry-go-round

So he does

For hours

Romeo joins him

Romeo is a child at heart

He's even more childish than Les

Les is the only one who's technically allowed to act like a little kid

Race decides to play some games

He throws rings at bottles

He squirts water guns

He tosses baseballs are cans

Race is lonely

Albert didn't come

He's nothing without the other half of the terrible two

Albert is actually there

No one knows

He got a job to make some extra money

Albert is wearing a fake mustache so no one recognizes him

He's at the goldfish booth

Everytime he sees a newsie, he ducks down

Quite suspicious

Elmer and Finch look at the weird foods

Finch dares Elmer to eat four sticks of fried butter

Elmer is the dare god

He accepts

Elmer makes it through half a stick

Finch is covered in vomit

Finch throws up too

It's really messy

The family next to them starts puking

They start a wave of throw up

The staff look horrified

They know they'll have to clean it up

Albert uses his fake mustache as a rag to clean

Race sees his best friend

He has an internal compass

Race points 'The Accusing Finger'

Albert flees with shame

Race chases after him

Henry, Jojo, and Buttons go off towards the direction of the magic show

Henry gets separated

Jojo and Buttons are frantic

They find him

Henry was mistaken for one of the acrobats

He's on a tightrope

Jojo and Buttons scream at him to get down

The people watching are more entertained with the argument than the flips

The three of them miss the magic show

Davey is just walking with Les

Les is holding a goldfish

Davey is proud

Les lost the game though

Badly

Albert took pity on him

Les and Davey still didn't recognize him

Albert was talking in a Russian accent

It was quite good

Specs, Mush, Smalls, and Tommy Boy are all looking at the animals

Smalls bought a bunny

He named it Porcupine

No one knows why

Specs is watching the ducklings

He almost bought one

Unlike Smalls, he has control over his impulses

He didn't buy one

Specs wished he did though

Tommy Boy and Mush are fighting by the pigs

They place a bet on which one will be the heaviest

Race has really rubbed off on them

Mush thinks it'll be Princess

Tommy Boy thinks that Chris P. Bacon will weigh more

This is tearing apart their friendship

They don't talk for the rest of the day

The car ride home is awkward at best

Elmer and Finch are trying to get away from each other

Tommy Boy keeps flipping Mush off

Princess won, and he's salty about it

Jack and Katherine are all canoodley

Race is suspiciously missing

He chased Albert all the way back

Les' goldfish died

Davey is holding a crying Les

Smalls is cooing over his bunny

Specs is holding all of Porcupine's stuff

Crutchie and Romeo are sound asleep

Somehow the merry-go-round tired them out

Jojo and Buttons are fussing over Henry

It's very tense

yEe YeE! you guys know the drill after four chapters. yEe YeE!


	5. Pool Party

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies have A Pool Party and Barbeque**

**Requested by PercieJean**

So Mr and Mrs. Jacobs go on vacation

They leave Davey and Les home

Bad idea

As soon as the door shut behind them, the newsies burst in

Davey sighed

He knew better than to protest

It wouldn't work anyway

Les is already in his bathing suit

Davey is suspicious of his little brother

Les just grins sheepishly

Elmer is the first one in the water

He pushed Jojo out of the way

Jojo is sitting on the ground

He has a bruised butt and bruised ego

Elmer cannonballed in

He shoots up to the surface

Elmer tries to get Finch to get in

Finch shakes his head

He's busy

Busy laying down thirty-eight towels for himself and his children on the pavement

He still hasn't forgotten about them

That would make him a bad father

Finch doesn't want his favorite kid, Canary Potter, to be upset with him

The other thirty-six were alright

Canary was his favorite

Probably because of the bird thing

Who was he kidding?

Of course it was because of the bird thing

Elmer facepalms at his friend's childishness

Albert and Race are on the diving board

They keep doing the titanic pose

Albert keeps shouting out the words

Race is Rose in this situation

Only because Albert insisted he was as attractive as Leonardo DiCaprio

Race didn't think he was wrong

But he would never say that out loud

Albert's ego would get too big

Smalls, Romeo, Henry, and Buttons have got into a game of chicken

Smalls is effectively shoving Romeo back

Henry and Buttons are hurling profanities at each other

Crutchie heard more swear words from Button's mouth while he lounged on a chair

He really wished he had a bar of soap again

Crutchie shouldn't have hesitated shoving the bar in his mouth on game night

Buttons could've learned better

But no

Crutchie hadn't taught him his lesson

Specs and Jack are grilling

Jack has an apron on

It says Kiss the Cook

No one has kissed the cook

Specs didn't know if Jack was happy or disappointed about it

So Specs didn't say anything

He just assembled the burgers

He had to keep slapping Tommy Boy's hand away from them

Tommy Boy and Mush were trying to steal food

They complained that they were hungry

Jack shot back that they were always hungry

Mush stole Specs' glasses

Specs tried to chase after him

It didn't work

Specs fell into the pool

He fell on top of Henry and Romeo

He knocked them over

Buttons let out another string of curse words in excitement

Crutchie gasped and got up quickly

He rushed into the house

The clack of his crutch on the pavement echoed

He came out with a bar of soap

Buttons made the mistake of making eye contact

Crutchie had a crazed look in his eye

Buttons goes to the deep end of the pool

He knows Crutchie can't get in

Not with his bum leg

Race comes over and whispers something

Crutchie smiles evilly

It's a shock to everyone

Charles Morris is not supposed to smile evilly

Jack looks over in confusion

Buttons comes up for breath

Crutchie hands the bar of soap to Race

Race throws it at Albert

Albert jumps off the diving board

He lands right on top of Potty Mouth himself

Soon, the bar of soap is in his mouth

Crutchie looks please

Buttons looks disgusted

Everyone else looks perplexed

Everything winds down when Davey makes a mistake

He picks up one of Finch's towels and wraps it around his waist

Finch starts screaming and shaking

Apparently Davey had just killed Dairy Potter

Davey looked guilty

Finch ended the day by holding a funeral

He really was a drama queen

yEe YeE! boom. two chapters done in two days. i'm on spring break so i'll be pumping out a lot of these. yEe YeE!


	6. Roller Rink

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Go Rollerblading**

**Requested by Phantom Actress**

We all know that Romeo is a romantic

Well, Elmer had been educating him on eighties movies

Something that his knowledge was dangerously lacking in

Romeo saw all these roller rink scenes

Somehow he convinced everyone to go rollerskating

Finch was the only one who didn't go

He claimed Ordinary Potter, Secretary Potter, and Library Potter were sick

They needed to be cared for

Finch was down to thirty-six kids

He claimed he needed to spend time with the one remaining

Davey looked away nervously

Finch muttered a quick prayer about Dairy Potter

As soon as they arrive, Romeo finds something out

He can't skate

For the life of him

Elmer and Specs held him up on both sides

They were both decent

Romeo didn't weigh enough to take down all of them

Specs looks strained

Romeo is leaning more on him then Elmer

Specs is not as strong as Elmer

Most of the time, he and Romeo fall, while Elmer laughs

But finally Elmer falls

Specs felt more victorious than he has in his life

Elmer just groans

Romeo whines about this being nothing like the movies

Henry, Jojo, and Buttons have parked themselves in the arcade

They didn't even bother to rent skates

They're busy playing racing games and using the claw

Buttons is cursing

Small children can hear

More middle aged women send the trio glares

Henry is pretty sure that one of them is the same one that glared at them at Wegmans™

He's not one hundred percent sure though

So he doesn't bring it up

Mush and Tommy Boy are in the snack bar

Slurping away

But this time Smalls has joined

He's soon crowned the alpha burper and alpha slurper

Mush makes a silent vow to never compete against him again

Tommy Boy just stares in awe

Smalls became their idol for the day

Albert and Race are on the rink

They're being idiots

But what else is new?

Albert is skating backwards and Race has his eyes closed

They're going to hit someone

Sooner or later

Albert was wearing a backwards baseball hat

The keyword is **was**

He's not anymore

It fell off

He was skating backwards though

Albert didn't see it

He tripped on it and pulled a Jojo at a pool party

(Jojo would later tackle him for turning him into a verb)

Race's eyes were closed

He couldn't see Albert sprawled on the ground

Race tripped

Albert and Race let out more Italian curse words than should be used at once

Albert's _cretino_ arm was not supposed to bend that way

Albert was more hurt by Race calling his arm stupid than the actual accident

He called Race a _bastardo senza cuore_

Race wasn't even fazed

Albert had called him worse before

Davey and Les were in the kiddie rink

In all honesty, Les was amazing at skating

But Davey needed the kiddie rink

He was worse than Romeo

And that's saying something

Davey couldn't go four inches without holding onto something to keep him steady

At one point, this was Les' head

Les was not happy with having his hair messed up

Especially when they were in an atmosphere with a bunch of girls his age

So he held his tongue and pretended to be horrible

Davey's ego could use some boosting

Unlike other newsies

Jack and Katherine were both amazing

They were holding hands

The couple was somehow in sync

And they were fast too

Once they just passed Romeo, and he toppled over

They left wind behind

Jack was being all canoodely again

Race and Albert made barf noises from their spots on the floor

Katherine's face was more red than a tomato

Tommy Boy wolf whistles

Jack shot him a glare

So did all the middle aged moms

Except for one

She was eyeing Henry, Buttons, and Jojo very carefully

They looked just like the three morons that had disrupted her grocery shopping\

Mush trying to beat Smalls at slurping was really loud though

It was distracting her from thinking back to then

There was another loud crash as Romeo took Specs down again

Specs' glasses fell off and Romeo landed on top of them

You've never seen more fear in a person's eyes than Romeo's right then

He got up and half skated half stumbled away

Specs sat there devastated

Elmer patted him awkwardly on the back

He quickly ditched too

Crutchie had been sitting the entire time

He had seen what happened

Crutchie hobbled onto the rink

He told Specs to follow the click of his crutch

And that's how Specs learned echolocation at a roller rink

Meanwhile, Finch was going insane

Cackling at absolutely nothing

He claimed that is was a funny joke that Prairie Potter had just told

The stress was getting to him

Maybe he should put those thirty-six kids up for adoption

I'm not even going to mention his imaginary wife, Aviana

She wanted a divorce

Probably for good reason, considering the state of her husband

yEe YeE! thanks for requesting this, phantom actress, listen you guys, you've all started to make me cry with all the nice things in the reviews. that's why i'm pushing this out an some ungodly hour. you guys were my motivation. yEe YeE!


	7. The Movies

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Go To The Movies**

So Buttons, Smalls, and Mush want to go see this new horror film

Well when the three of them are together, it's chaotic

Plus, Crutchie still doesn't trust Buttons

So everyone else decides to come along too

Because why the heck not

It was Aviana's week with the kids, so Finch was available

He practically clung to Race the entire time

They ended up seeing a comedy together

It got Finch's mind off the divorce

(His method acting skills are legit scary)

And Race chose a comedy because he's Race

They sat in the back row with a huge popcorn

Race proceeded to throw the popcorn whenever there was a pun

He threw a lot of popcorn

The writers must've been fathers

There were more dad jokes than they could count

Elmer and Albert went to a sci-fi film

They are the conspiracy bros

Albert's three in the morning thoughts are not thoughts you want to hear

He has discussed Bigfoot several times

It's his favorite topic

Race keeps insisting that no, Bigfoot did not shave his entire body to blend in

Bigfoot is not walking amongst us

Albert is still suspicious

Elmer's forte is aliens

That boy has the most outlandish theories

He supposes that that makes sense

Since aliens are out of this world

But Elmer claims that Earth is like a really crappy tourist destination for them

That's why we don't see a lot

Because Earth is the trash vacation spot in the galaxy

Albert believes him wholeheartedly

As does Elmer with the Bigfoot stuff

The others just sigh when they hear them discussing them into the ungodly hours of the night

They know it can't be stopped

Henry and Jojo join Buttons, Mush, and Smalls

They don't ever leave Buttons

If one of them is separated, it's a chaotic mess to be reunited

There's only one problem

Henry and Jojo are **huge** scaredy cats

They jump at everything

Mush takes pity on them

He asks the two of them to get him a refill

They gladly leave

Smalls and Buttons don't even notice

They're leaning forward in anticipation

But as soon as the sorority girl gets killed, they hear a loud laugh behind them

The three of them whirl around, ready to yell

But the person behind them, is unexpected

It's Crutchie

He had originally come in to spy on Buttons

But he got distracted

Crutchie found a love for guts and gore

Well not that part specifically

He loves the special effects

Crutchie is such a nerd

It's adorable

But the special effects were just so bad

He couldn't contain himself

He blew his cover

Buttons made a move to curse, but didn't

He knew better than to curse in front of Crutchie

I bet you'll never guess where Romeo dragged Specs and Tommy Boy

The critically acclaimed romance movie of the century

Gnomeo and Juliet

The theater decided it was time for a throwback

(I'm just kidding, my little brother is watching it as I type. I had to include it)

Tommy Boy starts crying when Gnomeo supposedly gets run over by a lawn mower

Specs had a flashback to when they named him the most emotional of all newsies

Romeo had like six different candy boxes on his lap

His eyes never left the screen

He would just grab from a random box

It was little game

Specs remembered when the movie originally came out

2011 had been a dark time

The movie was still as bad as he remembered

He had no idea how they got so many famous actors in it

The cast list is seriously impressive

Specs stared at it in awe and disbelief

Like why would Professor McGonagall waste her beautiful voice on this trainwreck?!

He sat through the entire movie though

Only cause Romeo and Tommy Boy were so invested in it

And Specs was loyal

Plus, he was more of a follower than a leader

Davey and Les were at some G rated movie

Les was bored out of his mind

He didn't care about the movie at all

Davey was determined that they would both stick it out

Les was being tortured

All he wanted to do was watch that superhero movie with Jack and Katherine

But no

Davey practically shoved him into the kids room

He was one of the oldest people in the room

That had to mean something

Les barely watched the movie

He just glared at Davey the entire time

Jack and Katherine, were in fact watching a superhero movie

They weren't even being a cliche couple in the dark

Both of their eyes were glued on the screen

They frowned at the right time

Laughed at the right time

Jack even started to tear up a bit

He turned away from Katherine then

No, no, no

Can't have his manliness be ruined because of some movie

That would be humiliating

And Jack doesn't do humiliating

At least, not in front of his girlfriend

yEe YeE! so there was a guest who wrote a long review on chapter four on march thirty-first. when i saw it, i thought, oh no, they hated it. but then i read it. can i say i love you, or is it too soon? **THEY WROTE A HEADCANON ABOUT MY HEADCANONS!** and i loved it. it's still near the top of the review list, so check it out. oh my god, if only you had been signed in. i would've sent you back so many messages. yEe YeE!


	8. Babysitting

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Babysit**

**Requested by FansieForever**

So we all know that Elmer Kasprzak has eight brothers and sisters

Well his mom and dad claimed they needed some alone time

Elmer tried, but he could not control the beasts

He frantically called Albert

Albert immediately hurried over

But even the two of them could not control the little monsters

Race was called and told to bring back up

He brought everyone

Well, not everyone

Davey, Les, and Katherine didn't come

Katherine was busy

Davey and Les' parents were making them do some weird brotherly bonding thing

So yeah, they weren't available

But everyone else was

This probably wasn't a good idea

How could bringing in thirteen childish boys help calm down eight children?

The newsies weren't really thinking this through

Elmer was desperate

Almost everyone was assigned a child

Six weren't

Henry, Jojo, Buttons, Smalls, Romeo, and Mush still acted like children

If anything, they would make it worse

Finch was a natural

Of course he was

He has thirty-six kids

He was holding two screaming children while Jack stood there awkwardly

Finch clucked his tongue at Jack

(At least we know, Jack won't be a teen dad)

Jack was taken off duty after that

Finch took care of two kids

Albert hated children

He kept making eye contact with Elmer and glaring daggers

There was a two year old girl holding his calf

And screaming

Her face was bright red and he could see her uvula

He didn't know what she wanted

Everything he tried was a failure

The little girl just kept screaming

Elmer said that her name was Lena

She calmed down a bit after Albert bent down and said her name in a stern tone

Lena still wasn't calm though

(Now we know Albert won't be a teen dad either)

Race was a professional

It was so weird

He had a five year old boy sitting in his lap, playing with his face

The boy could not stop laughing

He was acting like Race was the best person that he'd ever met in his life

Everyone prayed he wouldn't follow in Race's footsteps

They didn't need a miniature Racetrack Higgins running around Manhattan

Elmer watched them uneasily

Specs let a seven year old wear his glasses

The little boy ran around bumping into things

More proof that Specs was blind as a bat

After the boy narrowly dodged another sharp corner, Specs snatched his glasses back

The boy started to wail

Specs picked up the boy and just held him

The seven year old boy fell asleep in his warm arms

Specs sat on the couch

Soon he was asleep too

They were both really heavy sleepers

The two of them slept through the craziness of the other newsies and children

It was adorable

Romeo got pictures

Specs didn't mind

He rather liked that little boy

(not in a creepy way)

And the little boy rather liked Specs

Crutchie was in charge of the newborn, since he couldn't run around

The little girl just slept in her crib and Crutchie sat next to her

When she was hungry, he'd feed her

When she needed to burp, he'd burp her

Her name was Zuzanna

Crutchie thought Zuzanna was the cutest name he'd ever heard

Plus, her room was nice and quiet

Crutchie preferred that to the loud boys

Tommy Boy got assigned Elmer's nine year old sister

She liked to do flips on the trampoline

And Tommy Boy was a parkour kind of guy

So they spent the entire time flipping around

Plus, it was quiet outside

So both Tommy Boy and Crutchie got lucky

Albert was so jealous

Lena had started wailing again

Then she made him sit through an episode of Charlie's Colorforms City

It was thirty minutes of torture

He was glad when the creepy animation faded away

He made sure that it would not autoplay the next episode

Romeo and Smalls had been raiding the kitchen

There was now flour everywhere

**Everywhere**

Mush had ditched for some fast food

Henry, Jojo, and Buttons were playing video games

Jack was arguing with Katherine over the phone

And Elmer was praying to every deity that his parents wouldn't kill him

Elmer's parents never let him babysit again

He didn't know whether to be ashamed or grateful

yEe YeE! sorry this took so long, this was actually kind of hard to write. but i got through it. how? i don't know. yEe YeE!


	9. Baking Competition

**before we start, there is a guest that goes by the name of junebug. now junebug told me that the fair chapter sounded suspiciously like ottersandwich's. that's cause we wrote it together but then branched off with our own ideas. i gave her credit in my version and she gave me credit in hers. you can't just go around accusing people of plagiarism. check yourself before you wreck yourself.**

**thank you. now we may begin.**

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Have A Baking Competition**

**Requested by Phantom Actress**

It all started when Smalls walked in on Crutchie and Specs screaming at the tv as loud as they could

Cupcake Wars was on

Already a bad sign

Sure, it's a great show

But people make awful mistakes

And you just cringe

(sorry about my tangent on cupcake wars)

Crutchie's eye was twitching

Specs' face was in a permanent grimace

Smalls just stood there

When he tried asking what they were so upset about, Specs hissed

He literally hissed

Like a cat

That sound came out of his mouth

The two of them turned back to the Food Network

Smalls called for the others in confusion

They came running in, worried

Jack's eyes went comically wide when he saw his best friend act like Gollum

He asks Crutchie if he liked baking

Crutchie gives him a look

Jack agreed that it was a stupid question

Race rubbed his hands together before making an announcement

He had another bet planned

There was to be a baking competition

The other newsies were very competitive, plus they wanted to know what they'd win

They quickly grabbed partners

Race told them that he'd let the winners pie him in the face, unless he and Albert won

Then, they could pie whoever they wanted

It was a risk the newsies were willing to take

Katherine agreed to be the judge

The boys agreed that there was no theme

And off they went

Finch was partnered with Tommy Boy

Tommy Boy pleaded and pleaded with Finch

Finally, Finch gave in

They made an Olaf cake

It failed miserably

Finch was still proud of the nose

"It's the most important part!"

Katherine took off points for him shoving a dirty carrot straight through a lump of cake

Tommy Boy argued with the judge

They got disqualified

Elmer and Romeo partnered up

Elmer had a little bit of experience

Cause he had to cook for his siblings a lot

He tried to teach Romeo something basic

Elmer put out all the ingredients for Szarlotka

It's a Polish apple pie

Well Romeo got distracted

He leaned on the counter and put his elbow through the cooling pie

He screamed

Elmer nearly slapped him right there and then

Katherine gave them points for taste

But that wasn't enough

Henry and Jojo had grabbed each other by the shoulders

They knew they weren't going to win

So they decided to have some fun while losing

Henry had snuck in some durian

Durian is also known as the smelliest fruit in the world

They didn't really have a lot of baking experience

But they knew how to make waffles

Their durian waffles made the whole complex stink

Les nearly fainted

Katherine was not known to show vulnerability in front of the boys

But she did when she threw up Henry and Jojo's waffles into a sink

Jack held her hair back and tried not to puke from the smell of the nasty fruit

They got points for creativity

Davey and Les decided to bring a taste of home

The brothers built a gingerbread house

It was nice

But not amazing

Katherine nodded appreciatively at the pristine looking home

But then she took a bite

And spit it out

She claimed it tasted like cardboard

"I'd rather have another waffle. At least is had flavor!"

Henry and Jojo smirked at that

Jack and Mush had made eye contact while Race was talking

They shrugged and became a team

Jack remembered eating scones as a little boy

He didn't know how to make them

They decided to experiment

Mush set the oven on fire almost immediately

Jack tried hitting it with his hat

His hat caught on fire

Mush put his hat in the sink

But then he dropped it into the remains of Katherine's barf

He was not picking that up again

They were panicking big time

Mush had started hyperventilating

Jack burned his hand on three different spots

That hadn't even started mixing ingredients

This was just them trying to preheat an oven

They didn't have anything for Katherine to try

They also got disqualified

They didn't really care

Katherine got the fire out

Jack was just glad they didn't burn a house down

Mush was glad that they didn't have a chance to accidentally poison Katherine

Buttons and Smalls

Dear Lord

May heaven have mercy on their souls

They decided to do something almost impossible to mess up

And then they did

Rice crispy treats sound so fun to make

And it's so easy to

Not with them

Buttons wanted some color

So Smalls added blue food coloring

But it was too much

The cereal and marshmallow combination looked black

Buttons didn't think it was good

But he turned up the heat

Rice crispies don't do well in heat

Now they had rock hard black rice crispies

Katherine nearly broke a tooth

Albert and Race are Italian

Italians don't mess around in the kitchen

Trust us, we know

(That was the one part OtterSandwich (Rensi) helped on)

Their relatives taught them well

They screamed at each other in Italian

But their Torta caprese was delicious

The chocolate and almond cake with powdered sugar on top, almost made Katherine faint with joy

It melted in her mouth

Race made a cocky comment

Albert whacked him in the back of head with a dirty rolling pin

He got chocolate stuck in his curls

They were in the lead

Until Katherine tasted Specs and Crutchie's

They were masters

The two of them moved fluently through the kitchen

Everything went perfectly

Nothing burned

They had made the most beautiful macarons

The macarons were light and pastel

Katherine ate like four

Crutchie and Specs won

Obviously

Macarons are delicious

Specs took Elmer and Romeo's Szarlotka and shoved it into Albert's face

He rubbed some of it into his red hair as well

Crutchie slammed the Olaf cake down on Race's head

His curls got even more filthy

Race spit his out in disgust

Albert just licked it off

Elmer was a good baker

yEe YeE! hey, i'm back. sorry for taking a whole week, i got distracted. i added a bunch of randos on snapchat and started making friends! who says you can't talk to strangers on the internet, NOT ME! i haven't gotten kidnapped...yet. FAVORITE, FOLLOW, REVIEW, WHATEVER! yEe YeE!


	10. Haunted House

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About our Favorite People**

**Newsies Go To A Haunted House**

**Requested by Les Phansie**

So as we already know from the fair, Albert needs some extra dough in his pockets

Well there weren't many opportunities to find a job

But he found one

At the haunted house

*cue spooky music*

But Albert decides to have some fun with it

He recruits Race, Elmer, and Crutchie

No one would suspect Crutchie

They had Elmer innocently leave the flier on the table at Jacobi's

Finch saw

Finch can't keep his mouth shut

Finch showed everyone

They agreed to visit it that weekend

Elmer nearly peed himself with excitement

The days leading up seemed to go slower and slower than they ever had before

But finally, the newsies piled into Davey's van

The four trouble makers make up an excuse

Jack is immediately suspicious

Crutchie should not be left alone with Race and Albert

But he agrees

Since Elmer is there

He trusts Elmer

The four of them stand outside and wave goodbye to the car

As soon as it's out of site, they sprint inside

Well, Crutchie doesn't sprint

He waits in the car

Elmer gets his stuff for him

Crutchie is going to be a zombie

The crutch will be helpful

Race gets behind the wheel

He's a good twenty miles over the speed limit

They pass Davey quickly

Davey drives like an old crying blind woman

Elmer starts yelling in Polish

"The speed limit is just a suggestion!"

Race has too much power

Albert starts praying

Crutchie's just cackling

It's just like the scene from that horror movie he saw

"Buddy, I'm going eighty in a fifty, there's no way you should be passing me right now!"

They get there early

Surprisingly

Race is known for being tardy

Their boss actually looks surprised to see them there on time

He shakes it off though

They quickly get dressed and do their makeup

Elmer is wearing an old floral dress covered in fake blood and slime and a brown wig

He has a fake pregnant belly

There's a secret button on the sleeve

When he presses it, the pregnancy belly opens up

An alien pops out

He pretends to scream in agony

It's cheesy in the light, but scary in the dark

Crutchie is a zombie

But you already knew that

He wears ratty clothes and covers his face in green colored glue

The glue starts to peel

It look like his green skin is falling off

He uses some of Elmer's fake blood for his arms

He actually looks pretty freaky

Elmer almost starts crying

He has maternal instincts for Crutchie

There's one final detail for Crutchie

He added it just for Buttons

Zombie Crutchie will hold a bar of soap in his hands

Crutchie wants to catch him in the act of saying a potty word

Albert is Bigfoot

Obviously

He doesn't really have a scare plan

He's holding a can of Natural Light beer

And he's wearing a neon yellow reflective jacket

(If you know what I'm referencing, my respect for you goes up)

Albert can make some convincing grunting

NOT LIKE THAT, YOU ABSOLUTE FILTH

But he sounds like a monkey

Race is…

Well, Race is…

Race is…

God, this is hard

Race is Darla

Darla from _Finding Nemo_

You know that girl with pigtails and headgear

That's him

So they get into position

Jack and the other newsies have elbowed their way to the front

Jack wanted to get it over with

He may trust Elmer, but he didn't trust Elmer that much

Jack hit a woman in the face with his arm

She started screaming profanities

Jack was about to fire back, but was stopped

Buttons pushed him out of the way and started screaming

Screaming things that would make a Scottish sailor blush profusely

This was the only time they appreciated his foul mouth

Henry and Jojo had to drag him back

The woman threatened to call the cops on him

That's when they skedaddled right into the haunted house

A Jason mask came out of nowhere and sprinted towards Finch

Finch did a motherfreakin forward roll to get out of the way

The Jason mask started laughing

The other newsies were laughing too

Not Finch

He was out of breath

That was the most exercise he'd gotten in a long time

Next, they encountered a witch

She had freakishly long acrylic nails

The witch reached out and started stroking Smalls' cheek, while cackling wildly

Smalls peed a little

He didn't mention what the dark spot on his pants was

But they figured it out

They thought the next room was empty

Until they heard noises

It wasn't the staff trying to scare them

It was a couple hiding out

Doing a little kissing

It was more than a little

Romeo cheered them on

Specs backhanded Romeo

Hard

Romeo stopped cheering them on

Jojo pushed towards the front of the group

He walked straight into a fake spider web

While trying to get out, he tangled himself in even more

Jojo could not escape the spider web

No one was helping him

Henry had to lead him around, or else he'd run into the doorway

Tommy Boy and Mush had a bet

First to scream loses

They were so busy bickering, that they didn't notice Albert creeping up behind them

They both screamed when two beer cans hit them in the back of their head

They turned around, and saw Bigfoot towering over them

Tommy Boy let out a suspicious noise

Mush plugged his nose

They both sprinted away, arguing about who screamed first

Albert had to sit down, cause he was laughing so much

He made Tommy Boy go to the bathroom in his pants

He should get a bonus from that

A little gremlin stole Specs' glasses

He was blind as a bat

It didn't help that they were already in the dark

Henry saw him stumbling

Specs face planted onto a fake Venus Fly Trap

Specs didn't know what it was though

Specs lay on the ground, screaming

Henry chased after the goblin manchild

Henry forgot about Jojo

Jojo ran into a doorway

Jojo slipped and hit his head on the doorknob

Jojo got a black eye

The spiderweb was not a cushion for his fall

Jojo turned into a mini Buttons for a second

Davey and Les aren't even in the haunted house

Les took one step in, and bolted in the other direction

Davey chased after them

They're sitting in the car

Les is on the phone with his mother

Davey is hitting his head on the steering wheel

Crutchie has a plan

He knows Jack and Buttons are together

He plans the scare the heck out of both of them

They round the corner

Crutchie makes his move

He comes out, acting like he's in pain

"Crutchie?" Jack speaks

He knew he shouldn't have left him with Race and Albert

"Are you alright?"

He was generally worried

It was dark, so he couldn't see the green

He just saw a limping Crutchie with a miserable look on his face

"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack," Crutchie called. "Buttonsssssssssssss."

He stepped into the light

"What in the everloving f-!" Buttons called

Crutchie held out his bar of soap

Buttons screamed

Jack looked uneasy

Crutchie stopped limping

Buttons was ready to bolt

Crutchie took a step forward

Buttons bolted

Jack took a step back

And then another

And another

And another one

Until he was backed into a corner

Crutchie leaned in

"Boo"

Jack bolted after Buttons

But that wasn't it

Jack quickly caught up to Buttons

They turned another corner

Out popped Elmer

He was wailing

He was screaming

He was close to tears

All of a sudden, the belly opened and the alien popped out

Buttons started crying

Jack was hyperventilating

Elmer was still sounding like a patient in an insane asylum

Romeo hadn't had anything that scared him too badly

He walked into a room

The door shut behind him

The door on the other side of the room was plastic wrapped shut

Same with the windows

All of a sudden, Darla appeared

Race had a hidden microphone to broadcast his voice

Darla's head kept going from window to window

Tapping his fingers on the plastic wrap, making it shake creepily

Romeo started panting

The room got warmer

Romeo started seeing eighteen Darlas at once

Romeo fainted

Race high fived Albert, who was watching

The other newsies finished the haunted house as fast as they could

Half were crying

Half had urine soiling their pants

Tommy Boy was forced to walk home

Albert, Elmer, Race, and Crutchie made some good cash

It was worth it

yEe YeE! so because it took so long, i gave y'all an extra long one to make up for it. that was a buzzfeed unsolved reference btw, the best thing on youtube. i hope you enjoyed. please give me requests! yEe YeE!


	11. No Phones

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Get Their Phones Taken Away**

**Requested by **

Davey has had enough

No one pays him any attention anymore

Davey needs attention

He needs it

He does not like sitting in a corner while no one talks to him

Some of it is his fault

He does not know how to work a phone

He is an eighty year old woman in a young man's body

Les should be on his side

He's too young for a phone

But nope

He's looking over Jojo's shoulder

COMPLETELY IGNORING DAVEY

Davey feels the need to spew random facts

He doesn't want to be the looney talking to himself in the corner though

So he did what the mom friend always does when they feel left out

They get out a plastic container and put the others' phones in it

There was immediate outrage

Albert nearly punched him in the face

Albert's phone was a dark place

He had just infiltrated a Facebook group of anti-vax moms

He was there to learn their philosophy

Albert had a budding friendship with a mom named Gina

Gina's are **always** anti-vax

It's a fact of life

(Not that their kids will have one)

They had been gossiping about the other moms for two hours

Albert had a fake Facebook profile

Apparently, his name was Susan Jones and he had a five year old son with his army husband

Gina was quite the typer

But now he couldn't continue his conversation

When Davey snatched Specs' phone, he hissed

Again

Specs had been watching _The Great British Baking Show_

Again

He had a problem

Part of that problem was his obsession with the hosts

He could mimic their voices perfectly

He now started speaking in their accents without thinking about it

Finch nearly slapped him when he started murmuring about murder in a British accent during a sleepover once

It was really creepy

It was around three in the morning

That made it creepier

Speaking of Finch, he had mysteriously disappeared when Davey started collecting phones

No one knew where he went

Until Elmer found him hiding in an air duct

He was playing fruit ninja with a crazed look in his eyes

They only found him cause he started screaming

Something about watermelon bombs

They didn't really pay attention to the words more than the sounds

He did beat his high score though

That's all he cared about

Finch locked himself in the bathroom when Davey snatched his phone away

Buttons wondered why he didn't do that

But then he remembered

That's where the soap was

Buttons was afraid of soap

All thanks to Crutchie

Race was not okay

He was not alright

His Reddit had been taken away for thirty minutes

Race was curled up into a ball on the floor

He already feels the lack of memes catching up

"Improvise. Adapt. Overcome."

He tries to quote his favorite meme to help himself

He ends up crying on the floor

Race falls asleep in a puddle of his own tears

Elmer carries him away

Elmer could care less about his phone being taken away

He'd been texting his sister

She was a young teenager

She used wayyyyyy too many emojis and abbreviations

He could only stand so many DITYID and ICBINB or his favorite, IITYWTMIWHTKY

"Did I Tell You I'm Depressed"

"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"

"If I Tell You What This Means I Will Have To Kill You"

It hurt his head

Ever since Davey took his phone, he could hear is dinging from wherever it was

There was a ding every thirty seconds

His sister was a serial texter

Jack was mad that his ArtStudio was being taken away

He was sketching zombie Crutchie

"IT HELPS ME COPE WITH THE TRAUMA!"

Katherine laughed at him from behind her Jane Austen book

She was secretly hiding her phone behind the pages

Twitter was a cruel cruel app

She was determined to be crueler

Tommy Boy and Mush were playing cup pong on GamePidgeon

Both were determined to win

It was the most intense they'd ever been

Davey had to use all his strength to physically pry Mush's fingers off the phone

Tommy Boy had tried to kick Davey's hands away whenever they came near

Tommy Boy was fast

But Davey was faster

Henry started crying

Except they weren't normal sobs

They were villager noises

Davey confiscated his minecraft pocket edition

His dog was going to be so lonely without him

Buttons was playing fortnite

The other newsies **helped** Davey take his phone

Henry wanted to spit in his face

That game was a disgrace

A complete menace

Disgusting

Romeo was catfishing strange men on Snapchat

In a way, he was hero

In another way, he saw way too much

Davey looked at his screen at wrong time

He gasped in absolute horror before snatching it away

Romeo just shrugged

"Romeo, why is he calling you Sadie?"

"Stop looking David!"

Sweet little Crutchie gave up his phone without a fight

But he forgot to turn it off

"CRUTCHIE WHY ARE YOU WATCHING A PIRATED HORROR MOVIE?!"

"Fiddlesticks"

"PIRACY IS ILLEGAL, CHARLES!"

But finally, Davey had all the phones

The newsies sat there awkwardly

There was no noise

Just the sound of Finch cracking his knuckles

Specs was muttering to himself about spongecake

Davey took one look at his best friends and sighed

He handed them back their phones

Albert cringed when he saw the 87 messages from Gina

Elmer just put his sister on Do Not Disturb

Race cackled with delight as he saw the upvotes he had.

yEe YeE! oh my god. i'm so sorry. i slept through my entire summer. please read this. please review. please follow. please request. please favorite. give me motivation. i beg. i plead. yEe YeE!


	12. Concert

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Go To a Concert**

**Requested by upwiththebirds33**

In an alternate universe where Albert actually saves enough money

He decides to go to a concert

Of course he gets tickets for all of his haunted house buddies

But after a lot of puppy dog eyes, he finally gives in

And everyone else gets a ticket

He'll never have money again!

Well anyway, he didn't have a lot of money to begin with

So he bought some pretty cheap tickets

But they were still going to a concert

Any complaints would result in them immediately vacating the premises

They piled into Davey's **Party Van™**

Immediately they see Spot Conlon

He's working security

"Kelly."

"Conlon."

"Romeo!"

Romeo had like two Monster energy drinks on the way over

He was walking the fine line between hyper and dangerously hyper

He started dancing as they waited in line

Romeo complimented Albert several times on his band choice

No one told him that the only noise was people talking

Buttons had to pee

DESPERATELY

He was doing whatever he could to not wet himself

Jojo figured him out quite easily

He made a point to make running water sounds

"Man, we really really need some rain here. Just gallons of water pouring down on us."

Buttons wanted to hurt Jojo

Spot narrowed his eyes at him before he was done wrapping his hands around Jojo's neck

Buttons stopped trying to choke him

Crutchie was excited for his first concert

He was hoping it would be even better than in the movies

He'd watched the One Direction movie and Katy Perry movie eight times

He was so ready

Mush on the other hand, was not hoping it would be like a One Direction concert

He'd read enough Wattpad to scar him for life

As long as Harry Styles didn't look at Mush while he read a book, it would be fine

That wouldn't happen anyways

Mush abhorred wishing for unrealistic scenarios

(He shaved his entire body though, just in case)

Specs was not having a good time

His glasses had fallen off after being jostled around in the crowd

Now everything was just one sweaty blob

People were bouncing

Colored lights were shining

The drums kept making his heart stop

He didn't know what was actually happening

Specs didn't really even want to

He'd heard Elmer squeal a few minutes ago

And since Elmer only likes disturbing things, this was not good news

He supposed it made sense

Albert bought the tickets

Albert and Elmer had weird fascinations

They would like the same things

And whatever Albert liked, Race liked

Those two were like biscuits and gravy

You couldn't have one without the other

Music, however, was the one thing that Race and Albert had slightly different opinions on

Albert was more of My Chemical Romance and Nirvana type of guy

Race would listen to Joji and Tyler the Creator until he died

Usually though, they found a good medium

Lewis Capaldi

Race was not ashamed to reveal he had cried while listening

Albert has it on video, so he couldn't deny it anyways

He just accepted it

This concert was leaning towards Albert's _eDgY_ taste though

Race didn't even care

He kinda knew the words

If you know someone for long enough, you also take an interest in what they like

Race refused to take interest in his supernatural theories though

That's where he drew the line

But here he was, in a tank top and shorts

Sweating like a pig

His sunglasses sliding down his nose

But Race was actually enjoying himself

And he made sure to tell Albert that

So Albert feels validated

Finch is dressed up like a nineteen year old white girl at Coachella

He's got the flower crown

The fake id

The see through white top

And glitter everywhere

Everywhere

EVERYWHERE

He would be dusting it off for weeks

Elmer compared him to an overeager scrapbooker

Finch ignored that comment

He's jumping up and down

His phone flashlight shining

Screaming the words to the parts he knows

Mumbling incoherently to the ones he doesn't

Its beautiful

A true masterpiece

The epitome of a concert crowd stock photo

Henry is not having a good time

He's been in the concessions line for forty-five minutes

And all he wanted was an overpriced pretzel

But now he's missing the headline act

The "punk" couple in front of him are arguing

The girl is insisting to the guy that she knows he cheated

He is denying each and every claim, coming up with lame excuses

Henry's fixating on his dangly cross earring

The rest of his outfit doesn't look very holy though

He can only hope that he hasn't just stumbled upon an eboy and weeaboo relationship

That would be nightmare fuel for weeks

And it was

Jack, Davey, and Tommy Boy are lost

Jack really had to pee

Davey didn't trust him to go alone

And Tommy Boy just followed Davey

But now they're lost at the venue

All the rows look the same

And none of them can spot the others

It's a disaster

Davey's freaking out

Les is in there

And that means Les is in there alone

Or with Race, Albert, and Elmer

Which is possibly worse

He doesn't know

"That's what you get for bringing a ten year old to a concert."

Tommy Boy rolled his eyes

Jack thumped him on the shoulder

He gave him the 'don't you start' glare

Tommy Boy didn't start

Jack awkwardly pats Davey's back

Les isn't answering his phone

Tommy Boy thinks Davey might cry

They really need to get back to the group

They were right

Les was with Elmer

Well, actually, he was on Elmer's shoulders

Elmer had used Les's body as a battering ram

He used Les's feet to hit people until they moved

It worked

They were now at the very front

Les could even see the makeup sweating off the band's faces

It was surreal

Elmer had his eyes closed

He was swaying side to side with the rhythm

He looked as if he was in heaven

The singer screeched and yelled

The guitarist strummed and picked

The bassist twanged and tapped

The drummer hit and beat

Les's heart was going a mile a minute

He had lost his concert v card

And he had lost it to the band

KISS

yEe YeE! oh my god guys, i am so sorry that i have been absent for five months. so much crazy stuff has happened in my life, that i neglected all writing, but i'm back now. so y'all know the drill. request themes so i have inspiration and ideas! yEe YeE!


	13. Finals

**Just Some Wonderful Headcanons About Our Favorite People**

**The Newsies Have Finals**

**Requested by kitchenerpaige**

There are four types of people in this world when it comes to finals

_Type one - The Frenzied Finalist_

David Jacobs is the most hectic person you've ever seen

He has four binders, all color coded

Each of them is filled to the brim with typed up notes

Size eleven font, front and back

And they're highlighted

With annotations!

Oh the horror!

You can find Davey crying in the library

OR

In a coffee shop, with eight espresso shots, typing like the wind

He is not the only crazy person though

No sir

Specs is in physical pain

He's curled up on his bed, chanting

What is he chanting? You might ask

The chant is about maculas and retinas

He'll never memorize it all

There are literal sticky notes on his ceiling with diagrams

Specs needs to remember the parts (and definitions) of an eye SO BADLY

It is irony of the worst kind

His stupid eyes have jinxed all things eye related

Surprisingly, Buttons is also a control freak

He has approximately 1,256 notecards

They are arranged in chronological and alphabetical order

Buttons hasn't slept in nine days

He's hallucinating

He finally fell asleep

But when his alarm went off, he swung his arm

Buttons knocked over his stack of notecards

They all fell onto the floor

Scattered beyond belief

He rolled off his bed

And landed on the notecards, knocking them around even more

Buttons cried

And cried

And cried

But then, of course

Crutchie is currently banging his head against his keyboard

The keys are leaving marks in his face

He's just trying not curse

But he wants to _so much_

Just to let out all his frustrations

It's like the teacher wants them to fail

Crutchie is just hitting his head

Trying to associate the words and translations with pain

It was relevant after all

He was taking Latin

And there is nothing more Roman than pain and suffering

_There's Type Two - The I Couldn't Care Less_

Majority of the newsies were in this group

The ring leader of this whole operation was Jack

Jack Kelly did not give one single flying falafel

"Wait, we actually have to take finals?"

He forgot they were even a thing

He's slept through most of his classes

If you asked him what period he had Mrs. Garbera, he wouldn't know

He wouldn't know who she was, what she taught, or what period he had her

That described his whole experience

Finch is the type of guy that has fun with a scantron

ACDC was a personal favorite of his

So were pictures

He's drawn some beautiful flowers before

The teachers should give him bonus points for his doodles

But they didn't

Cause they hate him

His ADHD tendencies act up A LOT

Finch drums on desktops

Taps his foot on the ground

Hums loudly under his breath

He is easily the most annoying student in the building

He just doesn't care

And Finch applies that to both aspects

At least he shows up to class!

Race and Albert had notes in their permanent records

They were not allowed to have classes together

Not a single one

Ever since that horrible third grade year

But naturally, they don't care

Race just shows up to Albert's classes

He's not even on the roll

But he sits there with Albert, and they giggle

The teachers are always wary for the first two months

But come November, they're used to it

They use this same method with finals

Race doesn't care, and just does what Albert does

Unfortunately

Albert does some horrible things

All in the name of procrastination!

He took the seeds out of eleven pomegranates

There was a mountain of seeds

And then he and Race had a competition to see who could eat more

Which ended in a trip to the ER

Which resulted in even less time to study

Because Race had to flush his system

And Albert had to make himself throw up

Good times with the duo

This has taken all of their attention

Neither care about the exams

They didn't in the first place

Technically, Race shouldn't even be taking those certain exams

He's still going to though

Cause he loves Albert

Even if Albert wasn't even that lovable

(He totally is though)

If you caught Romeo doing any form of school work outside of school, he'd give you permission to shoot him

Romeo would rather be dead in a ditch than writing an APUSH essay

When his alarm goes off at 6:20 in the morning, Romeo tries not to throw up

He despises school with every fiber of his being

The only reason he hasn't dropped out, is because Elmer has convinced him not to

But his new plan is to get expelled

Then Elmer physically can't force him to stay

And step one is getting the lowest grades possible on exams

_Type three: "I'll Do It Eventually"_

There is nothing that Henry and Jojo loved more than procrastinating

There was something about that adrenaline fueled morning

Three cans of red bull

Crusted open eyes

The pajama pants and button down shirt combo that you would inevitably wear the next day

It was beautiful

Henry made sure to get the best sleep of his life before a scheduled all-nighter

Jojo made sure everything was charged and ready

They were pros

Especially when the teachers would walk around to collect homework

And they'd still be scribbling it down

They were the kings

And procrastination was their kingdom

Elmer also had this bad habit

Where he would stay up till four in the morning

On

His

Phone

Watching

TikTok

It was unhealthy

It was also relatable

But still bad

He knew he should be doing work

He wanted to do his work

But it was as if he was glued to his bed

Mindlessly watching the renegade dance

Over

And over

And over

He went to school in literal pajamas and slept through class

But somehow, he'd get the homework done

Even if it meant frequent trips to the 'bathroom'

_Last but not least, type four. "DEAR HELP ME GOD, GIVE ME ANSWERS"_

Mush, Tommy Boy, and Smalls are the living epitome of this category

Even though Mush and Smalls are atheists, they really love the big man when they can get something from him

Tommy Boy is a good Catholic boy who goes to mass

Before every test, he'll do the cross on his shoulders

Murmur a quick prayer

And then continually pray every time he gets to a new question

Mush tries to peer pressure God

(Out of context, that's the best sentence ever)

"If you help me pass this exam, I'll join your church or something!"

Mush always barely passes

But it's a pass nonetheless

He's never been to a single church service

Still.

Mush is pretty sure he's going down under

And not to Australia

Smalls wants to fight God

"Don't be a little douche, and give me the answers!"

Smalls has below average grades

He doesn't give a flying falafel though

"Oh Christ on a cracker! What's number eighteen?!"

yEe YeE! i actually, physically, and emotionally cannot believe that this story has almost been up for an entire year. ew, wtf. how did time pass so quickly. that's disgusting. oh no. well, leave a request in the reviews! i'll do em all eventually, i promise! yEe YeE!


End file.
